The True Meaning of Imprinting
by Rose Tyler
Summary: Bella has the misfortune of finding out what the word "imprint" REALLY means.


**A/N**: First of all I wanted to say that I realize that this story is stupid. So there's no need for you to tell me that. That being said, I hope you enjoy it! I got a good laugh out of the idea, and couldn't resist writing. Please review if you like it! It inspires me to write more.

* * *

"Really? Amy Mclaine?" Jared asked Embry, his voice incredulous.

"Yes, really, _the_ Amy Mclaine," Embry replied with a huge grin.

"Yea-ah!"Jared leaned forward, giving Embry a fist bump. "One of the hottest in our grade." Both boys grinned at one another.

"Wow, with the way you two are staring at each other, I would almost believe you two are imprinting," Quil teased.

"Jake?" The boys turned their heads to see Bella approaching, having located them through Billy.

"Hey, it's Bella," Embry said, wigging his eyebrows at Jacob. "Speaking of imprinting, have you imprinted on her yet?" Jacob threw a rock at Embry's face, nailing him square between the eyes. "Ouch!" Embry complained.

"We'll take that as a no," Jared laughed.

Bella frowned, and the atmosphere on the beach suddenly had a very awkward feel to it. Had Jacob imprinted on her? If so, wouldn't she know? She began to panic, trying to keep her cool on the outside while her mind raced inside. He had told her multiple times he loved her, and she was quite aware of it. He was always smiling at her, trying to hold her hand, even tried to kiss her a few times.

Bella looked at him and caught his eye. He quickly averted his gaze, looking down at the sand and running his fingers through it. The panic inside her spread. She felt for certain he had. And thinking about it, he was perfect for her in every way. She knew deep down in her heart that she was in love with Jacob Black. If she did not love Edward more, she knew she would be with Jacob right now.

"What's the matter, Bella? Did you want Jake to imprint on you?" Embry asked with a huge grin on his face. Jared snickered, and Quil looked slightly disappointed.

"Wha…wha… no, I… I mean not that I don't like him… I…" Bella stammered, trying to explain that her feelings for Jacob could only go as far as friendship while also attempting to not hurt his feelings.

The boys looked at her curiously, as if waiting for an answer.

"Jake… did you imprint on me?" Bella blurted, realizing instantly how awkward the rest of the conversation was going to be.

His head shot up, and he twitched slightly with the movement. "What?" He looked horrified. "No, no, I… Bella, can we please go speak in private?"

Bella did not want to go off alone with him, afraid of what might happen. What he might say, or worse… what he might do. What if he tried to kiss her again? What if he got on his knees and begged her to love him back? "No, Jacob. Whatever you have to say, you can say it right here, right now. I want an answer. Did you or did you not imprint on me?"

"What?" Quil asked, looking to Embry and Jared. "How would she not remember if he imprinted on her?"

Jacob was beginning to turn red.

"I don't know," Jared replied, now confused as well. "Maybe he… roofied her, or something?"

"We always knew he would snap some day," Embry said in mock sadness, hanging his head as if in disappointment.

Jacob was now bright red. "Shut up!" he shouted at his friends. The three of them and Bella all whipped their heads around to look at him, alarmed.

Bella still looking angry. "What the hell is going on, Jake? You… imprint… roofies, what the… just… what…" she was stammering once more, feeling more confused than ever.

"Not roofies?" Jared asked, matching her tone of confusion.

"What _about_ roofies?" Bella shouted at him.

"How else could you _not_ remember having sex with him?" Jared asked her.

"What?" Bella practically shouted, making the four young men flinch. "You told your friends we—"

"No! Bella, stop!" Jacob shouted, now looking as if he had fallen asleep in the sun. "Look you… I accidentally let the word "imprint" slip in front of you. I couldn't tell you what it _really_ meant. So I… I just told you the whole soulmate story. I made it up so quickly, I pulled it all out of my ass; I was so surprised that you actually believed it. So I just, erm…" He nervously scratched the back of his head, momentarily averting his gaze back down to the sand. "I just kind of went with it."

"Wait, what's the story here?" Quil asked, leaning forward with his eyes lit up like a childs on Christmas morning.

"Yeah, please do share," Embry said as he and Jared leaned forward, matching Quil's expression.

In her confusion, Bella's expression twisted into a mixture of curiosity, anger, and confusion. "So… imprinting doesn't _really_ mean all that you said? It isn't when a male wolf finds his one true love, his soul mate? None of that beautiful stuff you said is true?"

Embry, Jared, and Quil all burst into laughter. They fell down on the ground, Embry rolling around as they all laughed themselves into tears. They gasped for breath as Jacob's blush now deepened into a crimson color, making them grow even more hysterical. When they finally began to calm down, Jacob looked over at Bella.

"No, it doesn't. It means… erm…" He scratched his head again, searching for the best way to explain the true meaning of imprinting to her. "Well, Sam made the word up to make the story of what happened between him, Leah, and Emily sound a little less gruesome."

"Jake? What. Does. It. Mean?" Bella annunciated slowly, trying to get her anger across and intimidate him into getting to the point.

"It means… um…" He looked at the sky thoughtfully before turning back to her. "You know The Lonely Island's greatest hit?"

"The Lonely Island?" she asked. "What, is that a band or something?"

Jacob sighed, realizing that there was no good way out of this. "Well… a man… only a man can imprint, that part is true…"

Bella stared at him blankly, having no idea where he was going with this. "Okay…" she said slowly.

With his friends staring at him with huge smiles on their faces, and Bella looking at him both angrily and expectantly. Jacob felt the situation somehow manage to grow even more awkward. His face was on fire. Why couldn't she just figure out what the hell he meant already?

"Okay, let me try this again. Edward can't do it, because he, technically, is dead." Still getting a blank stare from her, Jacob actually wished that Edward were here right now. Edward would sparkle, distracting Bella so that he, Jacob, could quickly jump up and make a run for it.

"It's… sexual…." He finally stated stupidly. Quil snickered, and Embry elbowed him, indicating that silence needed to be kept in order for the situation to remain as uncomfortable as possible for Jacob.

"Oh." Bella's face fell, a faint pink now beginning to show on her cheeks. "I… I still don't quite get it."

Jacob sighed, now certain that he had developed a deep tan from the fire he felt on his skin. "It… it means… well, it means the same thing as 'jizzed'."

"I don't know what that means," Bella told him, now looking more embarrassed than confused.

"Ejaculation," Jared explained helpfully.

"Wha… oh." Bella's voice fell, and her eyes quickly dropped to the sand below her. She wanted to run. She wished she had never come to this damn beach today. Any other day she could have seen Jacob, and she had to choose this one. She opened her mouth to yell at him for lying to her.

"Well, you're with your pack now, so I'll just go. I'll come back see you another time," she slurred, quickly turning away. She willed herself to walk slowly, seem casual. _Don't seem too desperate to get away, Bella, just go slowly. Get away as quickly as possible, but not too fast. That's too fast! Okay, now that's too slow. Get me out of here!_

Bella awkwardly shuffled away, somehow managing to trip over her own arm in the process. She quickly pulled herself up, and finally, after what felt like an eternity to Jacob, she was gone. She breathed a sigh of relief as she climbed into her truck and drove away.

Jacob's blush was finally fading away as he joined in with the laughter of his friends.

"I am _so_ sharing that story with the rest of the pack," Embry choked.

* * *

Bella knocked on the Cullen's grand front door. She released a huge breath of air from her lungs, happy to be away from the extreme awkwardness on the beach. She felt angry at Jacob for lying to her about the meaning of imprinting.

Edward could always manage to calm her anger, though. She would tell him about what happened, he would frown, then they would both laugh about it and she could put it out of her mind.

The door swung open to reveal Rosalie. "Oh, it's _you_," Rosalie said with a tone of utter distaste. As if Bella were the plague on two legs, she turned on her heel and strode quickly away, leaving Bella standing alone in the large entryway of the home. Bella stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do. She then heard Edward's velvety voice, which soothed her instantly. She smiled and began to follow it up the stairs to the living room.

As she reached the top of the stairs, she stopped when she heard Jasper's voice. "Twenty-six _hours_?"

"Yep," Emmett said proudly. "Straight. Just try and beat that!"

Jasper whistled. "I bet when Bella is a newborn, her and our little brother here will."

Bella felt confusion at the mention of her name, and cautiously took a step forward to peer at them from around the corner.

"Oh yeah," Emmett cheered, elbowing Edward and wiggling his eyebrows at him. "The lamb can't run from the lion for long."

Bella noted that there was much innuendo in his voice.

Edward sounded slightly irritated, yet even more so amused. "Would you please stop?"

"What? It's not like we were the ones who nicknamed your private parts after a wild animal. That was all you."

The three of them shared a hearty laugh.

Outside, the door of an old truck slammed shut. Bella started up her truck, nausea consuming her as she made her way back down the long, dark driveway.

"I'm just going to go home."

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**Please review!**


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